“One of the most common traits in a survivor is self-doubt. Especially after psychological abuse, survivors may spend months analyzing themselves and worrying that they might have actually been at fault. They may even suspect themselves of being a narcissist or a sociopath. A lot of this has to do with the sense of defectiveness that abusers instill in their targets. When someone you love betrays you, criticizes you, ignores you, or cheats on you, the default message absorbed is “something must be wrong with me”. But the truth is, when someone does those things, they are showing you what’s wrong with them–not you. They are revealing their own psychological damage and attachment issues. As you begin to accept this, you will stop worrying so much about yourself and instead learn how to offer yourself love. When we judge or distrust ourselves, we are only strengthening the message left behind by the abuser. Far too many survivors get diagnosed with disorders they don’t even have, when really it’s just unresolved trauma that needs your love and care.”

—

The World is Quiet Here

(via holdyoursilence)